Coping with Stress

How do you cope with stress?

Let me rephrase: do you cope with it, or you let Stress overwhelm you?

If you are stressed at work, would you talk to that colleague you just had an argument with, or to HR…  or would  simply let the stress grow bigegr and bigger, like and inflated ballon,  until you explode?

I did. I did let it grow, and I exploded.
I did let it grow, and I ended up in burn out.
If only I knew that the only thing I needed was to vent it out! To talk about it!

It all happened a few years ago. I was underpaid for a very stressful job in a fast paced environment. I had the responisbility of the entire office, and the paycheck was that of a standard secretary. I talked, I vented, I talked about what was happening to me but I did not make any step in the right directon.
I talk to friends, who supported me and whom I trusted, but I did not speak to my boss.
I had so little self confidence that I would accept any money, undervaluing my skills, expertise and time.
I would say I was very grateful for the job,  but I was only lacking self esteem and confidence, hence I allowed them to undervalue me as much I was undervaluing myself.
I did not speak to them, instead I started playing victim.
That led me nowhere but to be sick in health, and I quit as soon as I could.

Please, talk and vent it out.

It is important to talk to yourself, write it down in your diary/notepad/phone/computer.
Talk to yourself in front of a mirror.

It is also vital that you talk to someone you trust about it.

You do not have to say what’s happening, what is happening is irrelevant.
What is important is How you Feel  and how you are reacting to a certain event, and why you end up stressed.

Express your emotions, release them… and let them go.

And now, my little secrets…This is what I now do when I am stressed!

-Write a Gratitude Journal at the end of your day, and say three things I am grateful for that specific day
-Go for a walk, if possible at the river, at the beach or in a wood
-Practice some Kick Boxing
-Vent it out
-Meditate
-Cry in front of the mirror
-Express my feelings through Art, Music.
and Let it go..

 

I am happy to guide you, if you wish me to.
I am no one to judge, I am someone to share you journey with.

a 45 minute consultation with me

 We can meet online (Zoom or Whatsapp video call) or in person, in Grand Canal in Dublin: we will grab a coffee and sit on a bench, keeping social distancing and wearing a mask (bring it if you have one!).
This meeting is a safe place: no one is here to judge. You can talk to me about anything and you can rest reassured that anything you say will stay between us.

I will briefly introduce myself, then  we will start talking about you, your history, what your concerns are, what your goals are and how we can work together.

If you do not have a goal, but you have a vague idea about what you want to achieve, we will work together to tailor a S.M.A.R.T.  and the resources you would need.

Within 24 hours, I will send you an email with some homework:  just complete them and return them to me within 4 days.
This will give you more clarity on what to do and then we can discuss how to proceed together.

I am here to listen to you, to work together with you. I a
m your ally and your guide.
I am more than happy to guide you through this journey towards a healthier and happier you.

Let’s talk about.. Fear of Change

Whilst at the beginning of a weight loss journey, a career-change path, or simply on a random day when we have to face something knew,  fear comes in handy.

Yes, handy!
Your gremlin comes in handy too, since it tries to protect you/prevent you from getting out of your comfort zone..  and feel discomfort.

Getting out of your comfort zone it is no easy,  it can be very exciting and challenging  but
you can’t really expect yourself to jump from FEAR to JOY can you ?

What is FEAR ?
According to Dr Robert Arloski, FEAR  is  the need for safety and it is not rational.
FEAR simply stand for  False Evidence Appearing Real.

So let’s think about  your weight loss journey: you go to see a nutritionist, you are given a structured diet and you are expected to follow it by heart.
It sounds easy in theory, cool on paper..but what happenes next?
You are all excited!  Then you go home and start freaking out: Oh My, what If I do not find broccoli? What if I do not fancy this or that? What If I do not lose wieght?What if I fail? What if I lose then I cheat and gain it back? 
Maybe you start all well motivated, with a gigantic ace card(willpower)in your pockets. You lose the first pounds/kilos, then you plateau- which is, by the way, normal as it’s you body showing you that hey, the diet is working, I just need to get used to this new shape! Bare with me and I will lose more!

All the above questions, I asked them myself.
I was so scared  about anything that fear became  my life companion, my best friend: fear of failing, fear of not losing weight, fear of getting sick etc.  While I was fearing the very air I was breathing (What if it’s too polluted?),  I was the one holding myself back. That was whenI understood that willpower is not enough. I needed a coach, I found one, I got over Fear.
I also understood that Fear was just there to protect me, to let me know that my comfort zone was there to rock my soul and confort me… the reality was: I had had enough and I wanted more!

I started pushing slowly, step by step, myself out of the zone.
I tried different food (healthier). I climbed a hill. I ran down the hill (literally). I hired a personal Trainer. I started Boxing.
I cut my hair, I got rid of old clothes, I also decided I wanted to change career.

Weight loss happened: of course I followed (and still follow) a diet, but only whenI found the right diet for me (I changed doctor); I exercised too, 4 to 5 days a week. I also started living a more active lifestyle. I turned my Unhealthy Distractions  into Healthy ones.

I decided to be centered, to care about my mental, physical and emotional wellbeing.
And I want to help you doing the same.

 

Don’t Minimise Yourself (Engl/IT)

I  often have to remind myself  not to minimize situations, not to minimize myself.

I must remember to look back, at  my past right and wrong choices, and remember that they are what makes me the woman I am.
And I must, but above all I WANT, be proud of who I am.

 I  often have to remember that all the suffering and the NOs given by life, only serve us to grow; there is always a reason why some things happen to us and not to others:  to make us grow.
It is entirely up to ourselves to give the right value to things, events and also to the people around us: you can’t get along with everyone, but you can respect everyone.

Remember to respect yourself first and  toalways be the first person to recognize your ownvalue, but be humble enough not to flatter yourself too much!

 

NON MINIMIZZARTI!

 

Spesso devo ricordare a me stessa di non minimizzare le situazioni, di non minimizzare me stessa.
Devo ricordarmi di guardare indietro, alle scelte giuste e sbagliate del passato, ricordare che fanno tutte parte di me e mi rendono la Donna che sono.
E di ciò che sono, DEVO  ma soprattutto VOGLIO essere fiera

Spesso devo ricordarmi che le sofferenza e i NO, dati dalla vita, servono a crescere e c’è sempre un motivo per cui alcune cose accadono proprio a noi e non ad altri: sta a noi dare il giusto valore alle cose, agli eventi e, perché no, anche alle persone che ci circondano: non si può andare d’accordo con tutti, ma rispettare tutti Si.

Rispetta pero’ prima te stesso, Sii la prima persona a riconoscere il tuo valore ed esaltalo sii umile abbastanza da non Tirartela 😂❤️❤️❤️💪

 

ps: This post has been published on Instagram too, please follow my page @robertamurronireal

WTF?

I got lost!

I plateaud, I regained a bit of weight, I went back on track.
Did I stop following my Doctor’s diet?  No.
Did I stop exercising? No, I just exercised less.

Exercise, to me, is the key. No matter how well I eat, if I do not exercise, I do not lose weight, I actually bounce it back.
Do not get me wrong, it’s only 2 kg (4 pound) and I am on may way down again.

I realised that, as much as I try, if I keep on TRYING and not DOING, nothing changes.

I have been on StayCation in Glendalough, we walked for 11 km all the way to the Miner’s Village and back. It was beautiful. I felt alive and emotionally overwhelmed.
I also felt terribly tired, like my body was going through exhaustion.

These past months have been very challenging :  staying home from work, focusing on myself, realising that my job does not define me and it’s not who I am,  studying, cooking healthy emals, exercising daily.
I am now back to  “Life before the Covid” (but still wearing masks and cleaning my hands every 10 minutes). I go to work, I work eight hours a day.
I started feeling unhappy again, and feeling tired.
I abandoned the blog, I kept on eating well and I exercised less- almost nothing.
I also started feeling external pressure, as if people were  judging me for what I was eating, how much was exercising, and that what I was doing was never enough, that I was not enough.

WAIT! STOP!
WHAT THE FUCK?

I am enough! What I do is MORE than Enough!
I am Human and I am allowed to take a pit stop,recharge my batteries and go back on track.

Do not allow other people’s opinion  to destroy your confidence and feelings.

You are worthy and YOU ARE MORE THAN ENOUGH!

ps: I postponed the 120DayBlast end to 31st August.
Now I have a Zumba Class 🙂 Talk Soon!

Lasciati Vibrare e Ascolta

Recensione del Libro “Dimagrire non Basta” Di Debora Conti, Wide Edizioni, 2020

 

Nel 2007 comprai un libro, Il Giusto Peso Per Sempre. Ero una 23enne quasi in normopeso, ma con una costante ricerca della perfezione tramite più o meno ortodossi metodi di dimagrimento.
Dove le diete avevano fallito, la PNL poteva aiutarmi.E lo fece. Vi dirò di più, contattai Debora e per un periodo medio lungo ci fu uno scambio epistolare non da poco.

Anni dopo, con malattie metaboliche sul groppone che mi avevano portata a pesare più di 100 kg, seguito un dimagrimento serio, lento e costante di più di venti kg che mi ha riportato nel Magico Regno del Sovrappeso (addio Obesità) mi ritrovo ad essere nuovamente studentessa.
Eh no, non mi sono bastati Laurea in Lingue, Specialistica in relazioni Internazionali e Master in UK in Studi Psicosociali. Eh no!

Ho deciso di ricominciare a studiare : PNL, in primis; e poi diventare Coach di GPXS e Wellness&Health Coach.
Io so come ci si senta: il cammino che voi dovete iniziare io lo ho iniziato, fermato, ripreso più e più volte.
Sfortunatamente non avevo una guida vicina, un supporto costante e qualcuno che mi aiutasse a sentirmi finalmente libera, che mi desse gli strumenti per liberarmi dai miei demoni (fame emotiva, tra tutti)
Io posso esservi vicine, e il mio obiettivo e’ aiutare chiunque lo desideri ad essere le migliori versioni di se stessi.
Perché si, le diete aiutano se PRESCRITTE da un MEDICO o NUTRIZIONISTA competente. Le diete aiutano se, una volta prescritte, vengono seguite, ma non bastano.
Nel suo nuovo libro “Dimagrire non basta” Debora lo dice chiaramente, e si avvale di medici e nutrizionisti: tutti concordano con lei nell’affermare come la parte emotiva e motivazionale siano fondamentali.
Il capitolo 18, uno dei miei preferiti, parla proprio di questo, e le testimonianze di eccellenti operatori del settore vi farà capire come finalmente anche in Italia l’approccio al Wellness stia cambiando, come la prevenzione stia finalmente prendendo piede e come finalmente, il cibo possa essere visto come un amico alleato alla salute, e non un nemico da non ingerire per”essere magri”.
Essere magri non e’ la strada: essere sani lo è; compiere scelte sane, consapevoli, meditate, lo è. La strada giusta sta nell’equilibrio, e nella libertà di scelta consapevole.

Siete sicuri di saper scegliere consapevolmente?

Personalmente, in passato mi ero trovata ad abbuffarmi di “cibo sano” perché “fa dimagrire”.
In realtà, il mio ingurgitare cibo in modo compulsivo, mettendo in moto il mio personale pilota automatico (che non si fermava mai al senso di sazietà), aveva radici ben più profonde, ed è lì che dobbiamo fermarci, riflettere, lavorare sodo per poter poi scegliere personalmente.

Questo piccolo ma intenso manuale può essere piuma, o può essere ferro. Puoi leggerlo al mare, o in montagna, si lascia leggere così piacevolmente che lo potreste divorare in due giorni.
Io ho impiegato quasi due mesi. A volte ho dovuto fermarmi, scrivere, rielaborare.
Il libro contiene esercizi e, udite udite, una visualizzazione Assoluta!

Penso che nuovamente Debora abbia saputo toccare corde molto profonde, sta a voi decidere di voler ascoltare il suono di quelle corde e lasciarvi cullare, alzare il volume o abbassarlo.
Io vi consiglio di lasciarle vibrare, e immergervi.

Day 31-40

My nutritionist has changed my diet for a few weeks- I will not share what I eat and I will explain why in the forecoming future.
Then, on May 4th I reintroduced some food. I have not seen much change.
My weight loss is still stedy and slow. I can reassure that drinking 3 lts of water per day makes a huge difference: my skin is better, I poop more regularly, I weight less if I drink more.
3 lts of water are 3 lts of pure water, any tea or coffee (sugar free) are extra!

 

Here my results so far  ( Click here to see Initial Weight in March 2020)

 

 

Day 21-30

So so so.. this post was very much due, life tends to get in the way but I am overall Happy.

In 30 days I lost 3.5 Kg, I have 3 more months to go and I am sure that as soon as I reach 79 then it will be quicker and easier.

At the moment I am struggling and plateauing,  but my doctor said this is normal.

 

20 Days…WOW!

 

I am amazed by these results.!

Let’s be frank: my Doctor changed my diet; for 21 days, 3 weeks, I have to follow a sort of Lazy Keto Diet. So the 13th April, Easter Monday, I started.
let’s be frank: I could have done better in terms of Workout and I should have drank more water, but if I balance all the components, I am happy enough!

In 20 Days I lost  2.9 Kg and 6 cm waist.

That is ENOUGH for me!

…enough for now… but FROM NOW ENOUGH is not ENOUGH ANYMORE!

 

For these next 10 days, I aim to:
Drink 2.5 lt of water daily
Workout 6 days a week
Keep on steadily losing weight

What are Your Plans for the next 10 days?

Outcome, the exercise

-Have you done this before? ( set up/achieve goal: does not have to be related to the same outcome)

I did. In Semptember 2007 I had 11 exams(modules) left before graduating, and I wanted to graduate in JUNE 2008.
It did happen, I passed all modules with Merit & Distinction AND I graduated in June 2008, 23rd.
Although it was a BA in Foreign Languages and Literature, those modules were extremely difficult and time consuming.
Some modules involved one written and one exam, a variety of books (not articles!) to read and homework too: all this in order to get one single mark, which was the module official mark

-How did you feel?

I felt relieved. I also felt lost because I did not know what to do after that!
I felt happy, proud and alive.

– What was driving you?
I wanted to finish. I had had enough, I had a rough patch where I could not do exams as I was too scared. I wanted to prove Myself I was able to do it.

-What was your first thought in the Am and in the PM before bed?
It was: study! I woke up, had breakfast, studied, had lunch, studied, gone to the gyn, and recap of the day. I also lost weight!

-How did you set your goals?

I had a main goal, to graduate in june. I took it one step(module)at a time, maybe two.
Thsi way, I could “turn a page” each module I passed. It was relieving.
For example,
I started studying in September, completely focused on a Literature Module (13 books plus critics!!!).
As I had another exam in December before the holidays, in october I added the second module  to the literature one. One week before the exam in Novemebr,I would only cocnentrare on Literature. Once the exam was done, I took one day off and then concentrated on the exam I had in December.
I also had exams in January and February, then April then May.

I managed to pass one exam in November, one in December, 3 in January, 3 in February, 2 in April, 1 in May.
I graduated.
How I did it? I was simply committed and focused. Anything else was on hold. I anyway had a normal social life, I used to workout and also found time to go to a Spa.

-How did you feel through the journey?At the beginning? At the end? During your journey?
At the beginning I was..excited and thrilled.
During the journey I was tired but committed, focused and proud!
At the end..I felt.. UNIQUE!

-Did you achieve it?
I did, and it melted my heart!

-What did you learn?
That I can achieve anything I want to  achieve. That I can achieve all my goals.
That if I done it once, I can do it again and again.